It's Friday afternoon, you're completely exhausted and wondering why the work never really gets done. You've actually done everything you set out to do - and yet that feeling of not having done enough remains. You may even hear a quiet voice in your head: “You could have done more. Was that really good enough?” This is how pressure to perform can manifest itself.
For many women with high professional demands, this inner tension is part of everyday life. The team meeting in the morning was challenging, the presentation didn't go perfectly and now you're facing the next deadline. You ask yourself whether it's even enough. How does this inner pressure arise? Why is it so difficult to be satisfied even though, objectively speaking, we have long since achieved enough?
In this article, I want to show you how pressure to perform arises, how it affects your life and - most importantly - how you can find a healthier way of dealing with it.
Where does the pressure to perform come from?
Pressure to perform often arises from a mixture of external expectations and internal beliefs.
Perhaps others - your boss, your team, your family - have high expectations of you. Or you believe that you can only earn recognition through perfection and success.
A large part of this pressure comes from ourselves: from deeply rooted beliefs that drive us. Thoughts such as “If I do everything right, I'm really valuable” or “I mustn't show any weakness” are unconscious companions for many women. They often arise early in life, shaped by upbringing, society or past experiences.
These beliefs can work for a while - they motivate us to perform at our best and be professionally successful. But in the long run, they come at a high price: exhaustion, self-doubt and the feeling of never being good enough.
The consequences of pressure to perform
Pressure to perform can manifest itself in many different ways:
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Emotionally: You often feel dissatisfied or restless, even when everything is done.
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Physically: Headaches, tension or sleep problems are frequent companions.
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Mentally: Circling thoughts and worries: Your inner critic is constantly active and points out supposed mistakes or dangers.
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Behavioral: You tend to overwork yourself, perfecting things over and over again or rarely say “no”.
Pressure to perform often goes unnoticed because it feels like a virtue in our society. But if we take a closer look, we realize how much it can restrict our lives and our satisfaction.
How to leave the pressure to perform behind you
Letting go of the constant pressure requires patience and awareness. Here are some strategies that can help you do this:
1. Challenge your beliefs
Take a moment to write down the sentences that drive you. Then ask yourself: Where do these beliefs come from? Are they really true? And above all: Do they help or harm me?
A simple exercise: If your inner critic is driving you again, imagine how you would advise a good friend in this situation. Would you be just as strict with her? Probably not.
2. Find out what really matters to you
Instead of letting yourself be guided by external expectations, focus on your personal values. What do you want to achieve in your life? What makes you happy and satisfied?
For example, you may not only want to be successful in your career, but also have time for yourself and your health. Becoming aware of your values can help you prioritize and get rid of unnecessary pressure.
3. Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion means being as understanding with yourself as you would be with a good friend. Instead of judging yourself for your 'shortcomings', remind yourself that mistakes are human.
For example, you can take a brief moment of mindfulness when you feel under pressure. Notice how your body feels, take a deep breath and say to yourself: “I'm doing my best and that's enough.”
4. Let go of perfection
Perfection is an illusion. No one can always give 100% in all areas of life. Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, focus on doing things well enough - and be happy about what you have achieved.
A little change of perspective: in the end, people remember less how perfect you were and more how they felt in your presence.
5. Get support
It can be incredibly relieving to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. Whether it's through a conversation with friends, colleagues or professional advice - sharing your experiences can help you to assess the pressure more realistically and gain new perspectives.
Conclusion: You are enough
Pressure to perform can seem like a constant companion, driving us on and draining us at the same time. But you can learn to let go of the pressure and bring more lightness back into your life. By challenging your beliefs, focusing on your values and practising self-compassion, you will gain the freedom to go your own way - without constantly striving for perfection.
How I can support you
Do you know that constant feeling of having to do more in order to be enough? In my psychological counselling, I support women like you in recognizing inner drivers, combining professional success with ease and regaining energy for the things that are really important to you.
Arrange a non-binding initial session - I look forward to getting to know you!