When you are hooked up by your thoughts, you are not able to regard your thoughts as mere thoughts. Rather, you are convinced that your thoughts correspond to reality, are true or are important, so you take them seriously and give them your full attention. Perhaps some of your thoughts seem like orders to you, so that you automatically listen to them or think you should follow their advice. Or they may seem threatening to you if they are very disturbing and unpleasant and you feel the need to get rid of them.
In Accpetance Commitment Therapy (ACT), great importance is attached to first accepting the emergence of unpleasant thoughts in order to then find a good way of dealing with them. In this article I will share an exercise called "Hands as Thoughts" that can illustrate why this is important.
"Hands as thoughts" exercise
For the exercise, the first step is to look at where problems exist. So what are your problems? What are you struggling with in your current life, what causes you worry or pain? What other challenges do you face on a daily basis? And what is it that brings you joy, that gives your life meaning, that is beautiful? Visualise all these things as much as possible. Perhaps you can project them onto an imaginary screen hanging opposite you in the room.
If you then get caught up in thoughts about your problems instead of focussing on constructive problem solving, it's as if you can't see the wood for the trees. Put your hands, which represent your thoughts, in front of your eyes and notice three things:
1. hooked up by thoughts: How much are you missing?
If your favourite film was playing on your imaginary screen, how much of it would you notice? If your family were sitting together at the dinner table, how well could you notice how these favourite people are doing and enjoy the meal? If you were with your partner, would you feel present and connected?
2. hooked up by thoughts: How well can you focus?
If there is a problem you need to address, how difficult is it to do so in this state? How well could you effectively tackle challenges? How well can you focus your full attention on a conversation and fully understand the person you are talking to when you are so caught up in your own thoughts?
3. hooked up by thoughts: Can you act like this?
In this state, how well can you do the things that daily life requires on your imagined canvas? How hard would it be to exercise, hug your children, cook a wholesome meal, give your partner a massage?
Try it out if you haven't already. Bring your hands, representing your thoughts, in front of your face and notice what you are missing on your screen, how hard it is to focus your attention and act effectively.
And now create distance from these thoughts. Slowly take your hands away from your eyes and notice how you can notice more of your canvas bit by bit. Now place them in your lap, you can also shake them out. This is how it is when you can free yourself from your thoughts.
And realise that all these thoughts are not gone. They are still there (in your lap, in the form of your hands), but they are not blocking your view of the whole picture of your life. Realise how much more you are aware of now. How much easier is it to tackle problems on your canvas? And how much better can you act effectively now? If your thoughts point to a problem, you can look at it and then deal with it effectively. But if there is nothing helpful there, you can simply leave it there.
Thoughts are primarily nothing more than words, sentences, stories or linguistic units. They are sometimes true and sometimes not true. Your thoughts are neither orders nor wise, you do not have to obey them. Moreover, your thoughts are not threatening, even if they are painful or disturbing, they cannot harm you. They can be important or unimportant, and you should only pay attention to them if they are useful to you.
What triggers are there in your everyday life that make you unable to see the wood for the trees? The next time you get caught up in unhelpful thoughts, try to remember this exercise and that there are ways to create distance.
What do you think? Of course this exercise is a methaphor for what might be happening inside your mind. Let me know whether you find it helpful in the comments. If you need help distancing yourself from difficult thoughts (this is an important factor of psychological flexibility), you are welcome to contact me.