The pursuit of perfection can be both a blessing and a curse. While perfectionism can lead to success in many areas of life, it can also be a source of stress, anxiety, exhaustion and depression. If you are a perfectionist and struggle with depression, it's important to recognise the possible connection between your high standards and your mental health. In this article, I explore what perfectionism is, how it can affect your mental health and what you can do to better manage your high standards.

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is characterised by a person's high demands and expectations of themselves and others. Although perfectionism seems to be a positive characteristic, it can also be a source of stress and anxiety. In fact, perfectionism is the one character trade, research finds to play a relevant negative role in a row of psychological disorders. People with perfectionist tendencies tend to be very self-critical and often set unrealistic goals. They can also be critical of others, which can put a strain on their relationships.

Where does perfectionism come from?

Perfectionism can develop for various reasons, e.g. family and social pressure, personal experiences and genetic predispositions. People who grow up in families that emphasise achievement and success may feel pressured to meet high standards and expectations. Similarly, people who are part of a competitive society or are exposed to media that emphasises perfection may feel the need to constantly strive for perfection. Traumatic experiences, such as abuse or neglect, can also contribute to the development of perfectionism.

How perfectionism affects your mental health

Perfectionism can have a significant impact on mental health, including an increased risk of exhaustion, depression and anxiety. Perfectionistic people tend to be highly self-critical, which can lead to feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem. They may also struggle with feelings of guilt or shame if they are unable to fulfil their own or others' expectations.

People with perfectionist tendencies can also suffer from anxiety due to their high expectations and fear of failure. Excessive worry about making mistakes or failing to fulfil their own or others' expectations can trigger feelings of anxiety and panic. Similarly, eating disorders can be associated with perfectionism.

What you can do to deal better with perfectionism

If you're a perfectionist and are dealing with exhaustion or depression, there are a few things you can do to address your perfectionism and improve your mental health. Here are my ideas:

• Recognise the problem: The first step in dealing with perfectionism is to recognise that it is a problem. Recognise that your high standards may be contributing to your depression or exhaustion.
• Don't believe everything your mind tells you. Perfectionistic people tend to have very self-critical thoughts, which can lead to further negative thoughts and feelings. Try to distance yourself from your thoughts if they are not helpful.
• Set yourself realistic goals: People with perfectionist tendencies have a strong tendency to (unconsciously) set unrealistic goals. Instead of setting unrealistic goals, you should try to set yourself achieveable goals. This can help to create fewer feelings of failure and disappointment.
• Practise self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would show a good friend.
• Seek support: Consider seeing a psychologist who can help you deal with your perfectionism and depression. I can happily accompany you here.

Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. Whilst it can lead to success in certain areas of life, it can also be a source of stress, anxiety and depression. If you are a perfectionist and struggle with exhaustion or depression, it is important to recognise the possible link between your high standards and your mental health.

By distancing yourself from your thoughts, setting realistic goals and showing yourself self-compassion, you can cope better with your high demands and improve your mental health.

If you realise that your perfectionism is doing you more harm than good and you are looking for support to find a healthier way of dealing with it, then let's talk about it. In my psychological counselling sessions, I will help you develop new perspectives and find ways to bring more ease and satisfaction into your life.

Write me a message with your request, and we will see together how I can support you on your path.