Would you describe yourself as a perfectionist, or at least have a perfectionist tendency? And you haven't yet heard the legendary story of the two Greek donkeys? Then you should definitely read it now!
Once upon a time there were two Greek farmers, both of whom had a donkey. The donkeys carried their harvest to market every day. But donkeys like to be stubborn, and the two farmers had found various ways to get their stubborn donkeys to walk.
The first farmer, Georgios, used a stick to make his donkey walk by hitting it on the rump. The second farmer, Lisias, also used a stick to dangle a carrot in front of his donkey. His donkey got to eat it as soon as they arrived at the market.
So both donkeys went to the market every day as desired. How do you think Georgios' donkey developed over time? I know the story well and I'll tell you. He became a dejected, anxious, unhealthy donkey who did what he did because he was afraid of being punished. He wasn't really happy - there was little for him to enjoy.
But how did Lisias' donkey do? Do you have any ideas? I can tell you that too. Lisias' donkey really enjoyed his daily work. He developed a good basic trust in his surroundings and was a contented, sometimes very happy and healthy donkey. He also developed incredibly good night vision, thanks to all that carotene.
How this story is relevant if you are a perfectionist
And why is this story so famousand so important for you if you are a perfectionist? Humans are not donkeys, of course, but perhaps you can still recognise yourself in this story? Because just like Georgios to his donkey, we are often very hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up. Things that you may have done wrong, that you could have done better, that you have messed up again, and that this is just not good enough.
It's certainly motivating to think about yourself in this way, but don't you sometimes feel like Georgios' downcast, battered donkey? What do all the harsh judgements about yourself do to you? The good news is that instead of beating ourselves up, we humans can not only eat carrots to motivate ourselves, we have another thing we can motivate ourselves by: our values.
And how much healthier and happier can we be if we use our values to motivate us every day instead of harsh self-criticism? If you're not sure what that looks like, feel free to contact me.
What do you think of this all-too-fabulous Greek story? Feel free to share it in the comments. Or share it with others if you find it helpful.