What does it mean to be present?
In terms of mindfulness, being present involves two components: Firstly, the self-regulation of attention to the present moment and secondly, an inner attitude characterised by flexibility, openness, curiosity and friendliness.
The first component (attention to the present moment) relates both to your immediate surroundings and to all your inner processes. Your immediate surroundings are the things you can notice with your 5 senses: What you see, hear, feel, smell and taste. Internal processes refer to all thoughts, feelings and sensations within your body. Presence therefore also means facing unpleasant sensations and impressions inside and outside of you with flexibility, openness, curiosity and kindness.
Why it is worth being present
1. Presence protects you from developing mental disorders
Studies have shown that people who are more present by character trait than their fellow human beings are at lower risk of developing depressive symptoms. People with a more present character also tend to uminate less and find it easier to make room for unpleasant feelings. In principle, current studies show that being more present is associated with better mental health and resilience in the event of setbacks .
2. Others will find you more likeable and, more importantly, you will hopefully find yourself more likeable too
Imagine or remember a party or similar social event. You meet Joe there and you chat for a while. You notice that Joe's eyes keep darting around (looking for more interesting people or the next drink?), Joe seems a bit bored and you don't really connect. And now remember a conversation with Jon who gave you his full attention. Showed interest in you, asked questions and was completely there. Which of these two people do you remember as being more pleasant? What kind of counterpart would you like to be? For fleeting encounters, potential partners, your friends, your family?
3. What counts is the moment, right?
Imagine you are in your twilight years and consciously look back on your life. What will you remember fondly? What not? Perhaps you will think of your children and the many wonderful moments you had together. Maybe you'll think of certain places or activities that made you feel alive. With thoughts and rumination about what would you wish you had spent less of your precious life time on? Take a moment before you read on to reflect on this question.
Perhaps you can think of even more reasons why being present could be worthwhile for you? I'm sure there are many more. Feel free to comment on this post with your ideas!
Learn to be more present
Being present is not what our minds have evolved for. It would much rather be on the lookout for potential threats and dangers. Of course, this fulfils its purpose of keeping us and our descendants alive, planning and solving problems, but our minds tend to overshoot the mark. If you are not particularly present by nature, you can practise the ability to be present. A central part of this is the ability to flexibly regulate your attention - to control the focus of your own attention, i.e. to maintain your attention and ignore distracting or irrelevant stimuli.
There are various practices and exercises that can help you to be more present. You can take the position of an observer and use this part of yourself to notice everything - your thoughts, feelings, body position, movements and surroundings. Classic exercises are, of course, meditations of various kinds - e.g. focussing on your thoughts, your breath, a part of your body. Or you can consciously use all your senses to focus your attention on what is pleasant for you - one exercise for this is described in this blog article . This does not mean suppressing the unpleasant. There can be room for everything. This video also shows very well what is meant by the position of an observer and flexible attention control.
Would you like to learn to be more present and experience the present moment more consciously?
If you find it difficult to stay in the here and now or you want to strengthen your mental health, psychological counseling could be a valuable support. In my counseling sessions, we work together to develop techniques that help you to live more consciously, find more inner peace and strengthen your resilience.
Let's work on your well-being together! Book a no-obligation initial consultation now and discover how you can lead a more fulfilling life with more presence. Send me a non-binding inquiry right away.